Funny Quotes

Forget health clinics and gyms. Sex is the best cure. One good night of sex and your problems are gone.
Grace Jones

Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn’t expect to be paid back.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Homer Simpson

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde

I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde

I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.
Oscar Wilde

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinitra

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Maryon Pearson

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Robert Bloch

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby